So I haven’t written for ages and ages and today I feel sort of out of sorts feel this pressure of a day off a day off, off from other peoples wants from me, and now I have me wanting wants from me and where does this lead me?
Running running running away from all of it !!!!
And in the writing, and thinking I will come back to myself, come back Debs, its okay.
So todays thoughts are funny because I love all these awareness days, I wish there were more, like feeling sorry for self awareness day, or self sabotage day, or bigmouth ‘on one’ day.
Most of my stress comes from over stretching my love over stretching my capacity to help over stretching my levels of care, thats when i get it, and its really unfair because then I end up stressing out the person who is already not able to do stuff without me. Its a double pain. My poor Mum, we are in a constant loop of apologising to each other .
The other part of my stress is totally my fault . its this . Its the not bloody doing what makes me feel alive. Being on a stage, being a fool being connected to other humans, hearing laughter. Its same old same old shizzle. Same as it ever was same as it ever was.
so on this blessed bloody day off I give myself permission to be who I am and soak it all up, for one day this will all be useful in the creative mix the place where good things are made, are written, are said out loud, without apologising !!!!!!
So cheers to Stress xxx